There is an interesting claim made by Mr. Caan concerning the status of Satoshi Nakamoto’s 980,000 Bitcoin fortune. According to Mr. Caan, his private keys were lost when he handed his laptop into an electronics shop for repairs. When the laptop came back, all of Satoshi’s BTC were gone.

Oh gosh. As soon as we got to worry that the real Satoshi Nakamoto is in jail or dead or, god forbid, Craig Wright; we can finally relax because he is good and alive and exists under the name – Bilal Khalid (even though this as was previously discovered in a check of the domain name registrar for the ‘Satoshi Reveal’ website).

Remember this name because he is going to change history as we know it – not. In fact, he will not change anything, not even a BTC circulation (the thing you would have expected from the real Satoshi, right?). Why? Because he lost his private keys. Yes, you’ve read it absolutely right.

But, as we have already said – don’t go yet, there is a new blockchain project made by Mr. Khalid or, what he wants to be called now – James Caan. Of course, the PR company is here just for the, ermmm, truth.

Back in 2007 one little known wannabe star called Kim – gave her computer for repair. What went out from it – is a history. The worker hacked in her private files and released what we now know as – Kim Kardashian Superstar, a 41 minute movie. What she did – was history. From the Paris Hilton helper, she became one of the richest and most influencing women of the world.

However, when our Caan handed his computer for repair, he got – nothing. Exactly that. Even though he says himself that he felt like his old computer is dying, he still didn’t feel the urge to write the keys done on a piece of paper.

He explains:

“I was also experimenting on many ways to secure the wallets for Bitcoin and how not to leave important Bitcoin data. I was so conscious not to leave the wallet.dat file or private keys in redundant or backup hard drives, as there were no secure cloud platforms at that point. And, as I described earlier, I was truly paranoid. “

He further explains that he transferred all the relevant files to his Fujitsu Lifebook laptop and then to a refurbished Acer Aspire laptop that he bought online from a well-known chain in the UK. When he woke up next morning – everything was blank – no reason at all. He sent it back to a “support guys” and they changed his hard disk no question asked – because, that’s how you do it right? And that’s how, kids, the 980,000 Bitcoins were gone.

But, that’s not all. Even though he may have continued with the mining (and even repeat the whole thing), Caan said that he simply lost faith in his project when Bitcoin developer Gavin Andresen started speaking with the CIA. After that, he seems to forget the whole story after finding a job as an IT guy in the hospital. Why this sounds exactly like a story that some frustrated IT guy who works in the hospital would make up – we don’t know.

Oh, but we do know because Mr. Caan has another product to present to us (no, this wasn’t a PR stunt after all). With AnnurcaCoin he now wants to revive a dead Indiegogo project from March 2019 which only raised £83 of its £824,258 target.

Well, the first installment of ‘Yet Another Fake Satoshi,’ like the second, revealed very little of any worth. Readers were treated to a long-winded autobiographical screed concerning irrelevant tidbits about the self-proclaimed Satoshi’s childhood and upbringing.

However, let’s just look on the writing style a bit, shall we? There is no way the same person wrote these “letters of revelation”. Since he graduated, as he says from Al-Khair University in Pakistan, it might be clear why his English is so perfectly bad. It seems even online courses from Yale, Duke and University of California-Irvine didn’t help him. Also, his coding also seems to be completely forgotten because we are pretty much sure that most people (especially young ones) know how to make a web page in WordPress.

The writing style itself would have better suited Barbara Cartland novels and not the Satoshi’s White Paper as we had an opportunity to read. Somebody also should explain Mr. Caan that ‘cypher’ and ‘cyber’ are not the synonyms.

Also, let’s not forget the name. The name made from randomly selected letters from the name of the bank (Bitcoin was made to overcome banks but who cares, right). Maybe Litecoin’s creator Charlie Lee made (again) the best point when tweeted:

But let’s bear with Caan for one day more because we can’t wait to hear what’s this “whole new and improved version of Bitcoin called Tabula Rasa”.

In the end, we can just say that, next time when you rent a PR company to promote your whatever it is you’re doing – at least make a fake porn leakage because, the way Caan did it now – will not keep him up with ‘Satoshians’ in any way.

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